


Breathe (Let It Fill the Space Between)

by doctornineandthreequarters



Series: 9-1-1 Prompts and Drabbles [9]
Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Feelings Realization, First Kiss, Love Confessions, M/M, Whump
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-27
Updated: 2020-08-27
Packaged: 2021-03-06 21:49:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 850
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26145916
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/doctornineandthreequarters/pseuds/doctornineandthreequarters
Summary: Eddie gripped the steering wheel as he focused on the road. He just needed to keep driving. He needed to keep going. Because if he stopped, then he would have to think about it. He’d have to think about how his dad was gone, dead from a sudden heart attack. So, Eddie had to keep driving. Because if he stopped then all he would feel was guilt and grief. And he couldn’t break down. He just couldn’t.
Relationships: Christopher Diaz & Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV), Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV)
Series: 9-1-1 Prompts and Drabbles [9]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1878523
Comments: 10
Kudos: 230





	Breathe (Let It Fill the Space Between)

**Author's Note:**

> This was prompt number one from the prompt list [One Hundred Ways to Say 'I Love You'.](https://doctornineandthreequarters.tumblr.com/post/627562788800348160/one-hundred-ways-to-say-i-love-you)
> 
> Send me some!

Eddie gripped the steering wheel as he focused on the road. He just needed to keep driving. He needed to keep going. Because if he stopped, then he would have to think about it. He’d have to think about how his dad was gone, dead from a sudden heart attack. So, Eddie had to keep driving. Because if he stopped then all he would feel was guilt and grief. And he couldn’t break down. He just couldn’t.

“Eddie.” He didn’t glance away from the road, but he could hear the concern in Buck’s voice. Buck, who had offered to drive from Los Angeles to El Paso once Eddie found out the news. Buck, who had brought over food and helped Christopher pack and get the nine-year-old in the car as Eddie barely spoke. Buck who was being so supportive, even when Eddie had nothing to say in response. “We can switch if you want. You’ve been driving for hours."

“I’m fine,” Eddie grunted. He glanced at Christopher in the rearview mirror. The boy had been asleep since Buck had loaded him into the car. Part of Eddie’s silence had come from Christopher, who had looked like he was ready to cry when Eddie told him what happened, but hadn’t when he saw his dad’s lack of tears. Just more guilt for Eddie to pile on.

“Eddie.”

“I said I’m fine, Buck.” He heard Buck sigh and Eddie just gripped the steering wheel tighter. He hoped that would be the end. He spared a glance at Buck and realized it wouldn’t be the end. Buck wasn’t wired that way. 

“Eddie,” Buck said gently. “You’re allowed to be upset.” He could feel the damn starting to break at that. But he couldn’t break down. He needed to keep driving. He needed to focus on anything but his grief. But Buck was still watching him, waiting for something.

“Buck,” Eddie’s voice wavered and he sniffed, gritting his teeth. “I...I can’t be.”

“Why?”

“Because,” Eddie sniffed again, feeling tears prick at the corner of his eyes. “My last conversation with him...we just yelled at each other. We both said awful things and now...now he’s just gone.” He bit the inside of cheek, trying to stop the tears. 

But then he felt Buck’s hand on his thigh. 

**“Pull over. Let me drive for awhile.”**

“Buck.”

“Eddie. Pull over.” And because he could feel the tears, but he could also feel Buck’s hand on his thigh, a comforting weight, Eddie did as he said. He pulled over to the shoulder of the road and put the car in park. Eddie sniffed and he felt Buck’s hand move from his thigh to where his hands sat. Eddie watched Buck, the resolve to not break down falling apart.

And then Buck uttered those three words. 

“I’ve got you.” Any resolve Eddie had left crumbled as the first sob bubbled out of his throat. Buck just tugged him forward into a hug. Eddie buried his face in Buck’s neck, trying to muffle his cries. And Buck just held on tightly, whispering comforting words. 

He might’ve sat there for five minutes or five hours, he didn’t know. He just knew that it was the first moment he felt like he could let go and cry. He pulled away, just slightly, glancing up at Buck. Buck just offered him a smile, using his thumb to wipe a few tears away. Eddie’s hand moved up to the nape of Buck’s neck. Buck nodded as Eddie closed the space between the two of them.

His heart still felt like it was smashed into a million pieces, but as his lips closed over Buck’s, he felt like maybe it could start to heal. Buck’s lips moved against his, slow and sweet, a feeling that comforted in a way that he hadn’t in a long time.

“Dad?” Eddie pulled away from Buck, glancing back at Christopher. It wasn’t clear to him if Christopher had seen what they were doing. His face mostly just looked like he was half-asleep. “Why did we stop?”

“I just needed a minute.” Christopher nodded, tilting his head a little. 

“I miss Abuelo too, dad.” Eddie sniffed, a sad smile on his face. He glanced at Buck who offered him a sympathetic smile. 

“Why don’t you sit in the back with Christopher?” Buck suggested. “I can drive the rest of the way.” Eddie just nodded before getting out of the car. Once he was settled in the backseat, Christopher curled against his side. 

“I miss him too, mijo.” Christopher just nodded, letting his eyes drift shut. Eddie kissed the top of his head as the car started to move. Eddie looked away from Christopher and towards Buck. Buck was already focused on the road ahead of them.

“Hey Buck?” Buck glanced away from the road, his eyes locking with Eddie through the rearview mirror. “I love you too.” Buck just smiled and nodded before focusing back on the road. And a soft smile crossed his face as he wrapped his arm around Christopher and let his eyes close.

**Author's Note:**

> [Scream with me on Tumblr?](https://doctornineandthreequarters.tumblr.com)


End file.
